Kabuto, You're Grounded
by Burnt Taco
Summary: Orochimaru is locked out of his secret lair to burn in the hot sun one day after he comes home from the grocery store; Kabuto is panicked in his search for the keys while Sasuke sits back and watches, laughing at Orochimaru's pain.


**Kabuto, You're Grounded**

I was walking home holding my paper bag full of groceries, the hot, hot sun beating down on my pale skin. I didn't know how long I could stand outside without my large bottle of SPF 100 sunscreen. It was two feet tall!

"Kabuto let me in. I've got the groceries you wanted so badly: eye of snake, liver of newt, tongue of cat, and _purity ring_."

"Oh my, I cannot find the house key. I seem to have misplaced it." Kabuto said in a girly voice.

"If you don't find it soon I shall burn to death out here!" I said evenly.

"Oh come on that's an exaggeration, I know it's somewhere in here!" Kabuto replied with glee.

* * *

**Kabuto's Point of View (Inside)**

Underneath my happy exterior I was terrified. _Where's that home key? Where could it be?_

"Sasuke where's the key to the lair?" I asked in panic. Sasuke looked over from his window seat in the corner where he could easily look out and watch Orochimaru-Sama burn in the scorching sun.

"I'm not getting involved in this, it's your problem," he said with a sly grin. I felt a rush of fear run through me, _what would happen if I were to allow for Orochimaru-Sama to burn out there? I'll just have to search everywhere in this secret lair. _I began to run up and down the many hallways on a quest for the house keys! I opened every door,

"Nope, not here either, not here as well."

I kept running as I shouted,

"HOUSE KEYS!" **(: BT: Does this remind you of a certain Naruto Shippuden episode? Indeed, this is a rewrite of the search for Sasuke; also known as Naruto Shippuden Episode 50! ^^ :)**

I didn't know what to do, the house keys were no where in sight; I had searched the whole place thoroughly. Except…

I ran back to Sasuke,

"I need to _strip search_ you!" He looked at me with a look of utter astonishment,

"Wow, Kabuto; I didn't know you had it in you to think that maybe, just maybe, I had the keys." Sasuke said deviously.

* * *

**Orochimaru's Point of View (Outside)**

_What's taking that little butt-hole so long finding the keys?_

I began to bang on the door,

"Kabuto you best let me inside this instant!" There was not reply. "Young man, open the door!" Still no reply; it was eerily quiet. I could feel the sun shining on me; it was too hot. I gasped for air feeling that soon I would pass out from heat over-dose.

"Kabuto, I'm dying!" I gasped in a melodramatic fashion. I looked in through the window to see Sasuke giggling at me silently. I pointed a finger accusingly,

"Sasuke! You dare laugh at my pain? I, the one person who accepted you and gave you a home!" I glanced at my hand, the burns had already started coming. I was becoming concerned, if I had a tan I wouldn't be beautiful anymore!

"Sasuke, am I still beautiful? Or do I have a," I asked with more melodramatic tears, "a TAN?" Sasuke sat there and laughed in my face; my melodrama turned to rage,

"NOT EVERYONE CAN BE BEAUTIFUL LIKE YOU! YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH PROBLEMS, PRETTY BOY! I NEED TO WORK TO BE BEAUTIFUL!" That's when I saw Kabuto, a stern expression on his face, come up from behind and begin talking to Sasuke.

* * *

**Kabuto's Point of View (Inside)**

"Sasuke, I need to strip search you, you've got the key and I know it! Step away from the window and let's get this over with." Sasuke complied, getting off his perch at the window. I looked at him nervously, I wasn't ready for this. My options: let Orochimaru-Sama die out there in the heat and never get my purity ring or, I looked over him up and down, strip search Sasuke… I didn't like any of my options, they both sucked! I closed my eyes and began to pat down Sasuke, it felt a lot like molest but it wasn't molest I swear! I swear to Orochimaru-Sama that it wasn't molest! I was saving my molestation for a certain someone… Tee Hee!

"Found it!" I cried, I opened my eyes and saw that the key just happened to be in a spot that I didn't enjoy. It was by Sasuke's 'you know what'. I felt a tear slip from my eye. I pushed up my glasses,

"Sasuke, I need you to take off your pants and get the key for me." I sniffled.

"Are you sure?" I took off my glasses and covered my eyes with my hands,

"DO IT! DO IT NOW WHILE I CAN'T SEE!" I heard some rustling and I hoped Sasuke was obeying me. "Can I look now?"

"Sure thing," I opened my eyes and shrieked like a little girl; it wasn't a squeal of joy it was a shriek of terror.

"Sasuke put your pants back on and give me the key!" I screeched. Sasuke gave me the key and sat back down at his window seat as he pulled up his pants. _I'm scarred for life. _I took the key and opened the door.

* * *

**Orochimaru's Point of View (Outside)**

The door finally opened and a feeling of great relief went through me. The cool air of the secret lair washed over me, I went to Sasuke and I said to him quietly,

"I hate you." I sprinted straight for my large bottle of SPF 100 sunscreen lathering myself with it. It didn't help at all, the damage had been done. I was _sun burnt._

"Kabuto," I said turning towards him.

"YES?" Kabuto sang melodically.

"You're grounded."

* * *

**Alright so, I got bored one day so I decided to call up hippielicious and we got into a conversation about what I should be for Halloween next year. I said I wanted to be Orochimaru but she said that I'd then have to use all sorts of white make-up so I said that I could go as Orochimaru with a tan! That's where the idea for this story came from; but instead of a tan, Oro got sun burnt instead! Yay! Now, this is a one-shot and will only have one chapter no matter how much you ask. I mean it.**

**~burnt taco :)**


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